a little change of plans, new header, and lots of prayers needed

I don't really have time to write the post I'd really like to be publishing right now. We've only been home about 45 minutes, and Eddie and I are both pretty tired. I would like to thank EVERYONE and anyone that prayed for us this weekend. I could definitely feel them! I would like to ask that you CONTINUE to pray. I felt a real struggle all through training. We almost left at one point, feeling defeated and ready to give up on our journey.....and we've only barely begun! It was A LOT to take in, and we know there's still more. We found out some information that almost stopped us dead in our tracks. I'll explain more later when I can elaborate, but for now that will have to be enough. If you've paid attention to my header at all, you see that there has been a slight change. It used to say, "Our journey TO ADOPT through the foster care system..." now it just says "Our journey through the foster care system." Again, something else I'll have to explain at a later time. For the moment, our "plan" is to finish up our training and start out just fostering. Either way, we would have to foster a child we might would adopt for at least six months before we could even really start the process, so who knows where all this will lead (okay, God knows). It's all in His hands, and I am fully trusting in Him that He will do what is right for our family. Please continue to pray for us. Training has certainly been a roller coaster of emotions, and the devil is working HARD to change our minds. I KNOW that God has called us to do this, and I am just praying that He will give us a sense of peace after all the information that we have received this weekend. I would like to add that training is actually longer than anticipated. We had SAMA training today, which was unexpected, and again tomorrow night. We have family lined up to keep the kids, but this momma is feeling pretty bad about not spending time with my babies. I have a lot of GREAT information for anyone interested in fostering or adopting through foster care coming up, so please come back to read more. I'll post as soon as I find the time!

rules and regs

Wow, what a long day! We got home about an hour ago from training, and I've been picking up house and dealing with an over-tired toddler. Don't really have time to post, but thought I'd share with you the notes I jotted down in training tonight.....


*No trampoline (sorry kids!)
* Water & safety training available online if access to pool
*1 adult to 6 children (over age five) ratios a MUST
*1 adult to 5 children (if at least one child under the age of five)
*1 child only per 40 sq ft (in a bedroom)
*Meds- all meds must be double locked. Topical meds cannot be touching other meds-need to be kept separate, even if only in plastic baggies.
*Sometimes can get clothing vouchers. Depends on CPS in your county
*Need plastic covers for child's mattress (for sanitary reasons, esp when fostering only)
*Need MORE outlet covers. ALL outlets must be covered (plastic outlet plugs)
*Cleaning supplies need to be locked up or up high (store in laundry room on shelf). Key lock is best.
*Check garage- shovels, etc cannot be easily accessed. Shed preferred.
*Vacation- you can take the kids. Must notify case worker. Need about a month's notice.
*In-home therapy is provided for the child.
*Training requirements: 30 hrs/yr for everyone.


Phew! Orientation was very informative. I was super excited to meet the lady I have been corresponding with these last couple months. She has been WONDERFUL. Kind of sad that she won't be our case worker. She is only over fostering and foster-to-adoption applications, so after we are complete on our file, she will hand us over. :( It was a bit overwhelming. I forgot to mention that all guns must be stored in a safe and separate from ammunition. This will be kind of a pain for my hubby, but it's not the end of the world. Pray for us....we have a long weekend ahead!

OH and I have some GREAT news to share...okay, a friend's great news, but still! I will let you know as SOON as it's internet approved!

while we WAIT...

Check out this post written by one of my favorite bloggers. Kristi is a mommy five, soon to be six! She has already adopted a little girl from ET, and is currently finishing up paperwork for the adoption of her son from ET. Please take a second to see what she has to say about fostering....

http://weloveourlucy.blogspot.com/2010/07/why-arent-we-all-foster-parents.html

no news is....no news

Nothing new to report! I faxed everything over last week and now we wait for training. We have to attend orientation on Thursday evening, and then most of our weekend will be spent in training. Friday I have to get up at 5am (or whenever I stop hitting the snooze) for work, then training is from 6p-10p. Makes for a LONG day! When they said training was all day Saturday, they meant just that: 9 am to 9 pm. Ohhh yes. That long. I hope it's realllllly interesting, because I think I have a little ADD in me. I'm crazy claustrophobic, so we'll see how this goes! Enclosed spaces for lengthy periods of time make me feel like I'm having a panic attack. I do understand that we'll be given breaks, but I can already sense that panicky feeling creeping in when I think about it. My poor hubby....he'll have to deal w/me all day. I don't think he's ever experienced this side of me, other than our trips to the Midwest to visit family. I'm pretty sure  he just thinks I have a small bladder, but really I just can't handle being trapped in a car that long (13 hours)!

Yesterday we spent the evening with family and friends celebrating my grandparents' 50 years of marriage. It was beautiful! Made me glad I spent three of my five nights this week shopping for brown/gold matching clothes for my family. There were about 150 people there, and I know it made my granny very happy to see that that many people wanted to celebrate with them. Thank you to everyone who helped make the evening special for them! 

"I ate Spam!"

Well today was another fun-filled day at work! I miss being in school and actually getting to enjoy having MLK Day off. Especially since it falls around my birthday! Anyway, Alyssa was NOT happy that her daddy and I had to work today. The kids spent the night with my Granny so the kids could sleep in this morning. Alyssa is a little afraid of the "country", so she BAWLED on the phone wanting me to come get her. I called back an hour or so later to see how she was doing, and she answered the phone all happy and cheery. I said, "I guess you're over it?" She says, "Yes mommy. I ate some Spam. It's all good now." SPAM?!?!? LOL Crazy girl. I'm glad all it took was a little fried spam to make her happy! (Only at Granny's!)

Today did NOT go how I had planned, but I'm still just happy to know that this list took a LOT less time to complete. I will try and fax everything over in the morning. I just had way too much to do. The tests we took online and had sent to my email didn't open correctly, so I had to re-take them on my lunch break. I'm sure it was something I did, but it was just easier to re-take the test than to figure out what went wrong. Thankfully you only have to pay for the test once!

On a happier note, we just found out that we can get an awesome deal on a front loader washer/dryer set. Soooo excited! Our electric bill was almost $400 this month. We'll need the savings the front loaders can give us! Seriously, our washer that we have is as old as our son. I guess it was well-made, but it can't really handle the loads of laundry I try to shove in it! :) Eddie gets so mad at me when he hears the "thump thunmp thump thump THUMP THUMP" it makes when it gets off balance because I filled it too full. I have too many clothes to wash, what can I say?? Gotta get it done!

a birthday wish, training and church....

(Happy Birthday to my nephew Dylan! I love you Pickle. I can't believe you're five already!)

Just a quick....woohoo! Got EVERYTHING done this weekend that our case worker asked us to do. Well...that is if Eddie gets his affidavit signed and notarized tonight (which he can do @ work). The training was easy, but my eyes were BURNING after I completed all of it. How is it I can sit and read blogs for much longer than I want to admit to, but when someone tells me I have to do it.....that's a totally different story?

SO off topic, but church was AMAZING this morning. I think 12 people gave their lives to Jesus. PTL! Can't wait to see what our church family is going to do in 2011.  

thinking about adopting???

I am pretty sure NONE of this applies to us since we will (possibly) be adopting through the foster-care system, and there are little to NO expenses with this process, but if you are looking to adopt domestically or internationally, you might like to know that there is a tax refund for adoption, making it more affordable than you thought! (Seriously, longest. sentence. EVER.) If you have a minute (OR seven!), check it out!

One Down.....and SOOO Much More to Go!

Oh Lord, help me. :) Soooo I got to eat my words today. I sent and email to our case worker letting her know we had completed the list AND our fire inspection! (Need to get the a/c checked for actual completion, but our house is only 4 yrs old, so we're almost good to go!) Her reply? "Yay! Okay here's a new list...." Ha! It's not awful by any means, but she did let me know there was more to come and that she was just giving it to me in phases so we wouldn't be so overwhelmed from the get-go. (Sigh.) I'm a planner. Total type A...kinda stinks, but that's just me, and my hubby is so good to just roll with it. This may sound like I'm complaining, but I'm really not. I'm just anxious to get everything completed. Kinda bummed that we weren't as close as I thought. So, for the time being, we have a couple online training courses to take, have to send a copy of another document, plus the certificates from our training, write a 1-2 page autobiography (childhood to present), and that's it for now. :) I'm hoping to have everything to her by Monday. Eddie is going to have someone come check out the a/c (we hope) tomorrow, will have the training completed this weekend, and everything faxed over Monday morning....we hope! It seems like we have been at this for so long, but when I look back, we really only announced that we were starting the process on Thanksgiving 2010. Less than two months ago. Compared to the four years I have been praying for God to break our hearts for what breaks His.......two months is nothing.

(The song is somewhat fitting....the video not so much!)

Check List

So for anyone considering foster care, I thought I would share with you the check list that we have been working on for the last month+! It's really not very long, and if one of us had a decent work schedule (and by one of us, I mean me :)), this might have been completed MUCH faster! Anyway, here it is:

For the Home:
Proof of Income
Auto Liability
Home Liability
Medical Insurance (if planning to adopt)
Marriage/Divorce decree
Animal Vaccinations
Fire Inspection
Environmental Inspection

For Each Caregiver:
Driver's License
Social Security Card
Birth Certificate
H.S. Diploma/GED/College Degree/Transcripts
Neg TB Test

For Each Biological or Adopted Child (Under 17):
Birth Cert
SS Card
Up-to-date Vaccination
Negative TB test

For Every Resident 18+:
Birth Cert
SS Card
Vacc Records
Criminal Background
HS diploma/GED/College transcripts
Neg TB test


See what I mean? Not that hard, just some things took a little longer to get than we wanted. Like some of the backgrounds of caregivers (ahem). Still waiting on some of those....one I forgot to give out! Eddie (the hubby....yes, I know, a name :)) had to run around to two different counties to get certified copies of Campbell's (our youngest) and my birth certificates. Then we had to wait for Christmas to pass to purchase the things we needed for our fire inspection to make sure we didn't go too over budget or miss any gifts (we both have VERY large families!) I had to wait on the hospital I work for to fax over my recent TB test, and Eddie had to get his from the department he works for. Nothing to big, just too many counties and too much gas to do it all in one day. :) But oh so worth it in the end! Anyway, God willing, our fire inspection will be tomorrow, and we can get a letter from the city stating that they do not currently do environmental inspections. After that we have a home study, FBI fingerprints, and training at the end of the month! I am SURE that there is more paperwork OR something that I don't know about that needs to be completed, but THIS is a list I can work with! :)

James 4:15 NIV

Instead, you ought to say, "If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that."

names, pictures, privacy....

I have to say, I'm kind of a blog snob. I LOVE to read adoption blogs, but ONLY if they have tons of pictures. I especially find that I lose interest quicker if they don't make it personal, and refer to their children as "A" or "T", for example. But now that I'm here, trying to document my feelings and the process of our possible adoption, I'm struggling w/what I should and should not put out there. I also hate that in the past I have felt that if people are going to create a blog documenting their adoption journey, that they shouldn't withhold things from their readers like emotions they are feeling AFTER the child is in the home, or even the reason their child was placed for adoption. BUT, it's none of my business. It truly is that child's story to tell one day. You never know what kind of adult that child will grow up to be (a very private person), or who they will be (famous movie star?? professional athlete??), and putting something like that out into blog world for everyone to see may come back to bite me in the you-know-what some day.

So for starters I guess if anyone ever reads this, you will have to bear w/me while I work this out! I'm sure I'll eventually post pictures. That is, if my husband ever brings back the battery charger so that I can actually TAKE pictures! His work camera is the same model as our point and shoot, and he tends to steal the charger and forgets to bring it home. :) OH, and while we're on this topic, it is because of him that the only pictures I have from Christmas 2010 are from my phone!

News w/our paperwork....we're almost finished with our "list" of things to send to our social worker (?? case worker?? seriously...still learning)!!! Yay! All I have left to do is get a letter from the county stating that they do not do environmental inspections, schedule our fire inspection (note to self: buy fire extinguisher!), and fax everything over! We have our very first training scheduled for the end of this month. Ugh. It is allllll weekend. That means we have to convince, I mean ask, one of our family members to keep all three of the kids all weekend so that we can attend. As excited as I am to really get going with all this and add another son to our family, I would MUCH rather spend the weekend locked away in a nice hotel somewhere w/my husband than spend it in a "class" room! :) I guess lunch w/just the hubby and no kids will have to do!

***If anyone ever reads this that is adopting internationally, please know that I do understand we do not have HALF the paperwork you do. This is all new to us. Our three other kids didn't come w/training classes, CPR,  TB tests or ANY paperwork w/the exception of discharge forms. :) I am most certainly not complaining. Just stating for anyone else considering adopting through foster care.


A little something from my devotions last night....found it fitting for our current situation!

James 4:17 (New International Version)

¹⁷ If anyone, then, knows the good they ought to do and doesn’t do it, it is sin for them.

a little background

In 2006 our family of four moved into our brand new house. We had only been married a little over a year when we purchased our "first" home together. In a weeks time, we signed the papers on the house, found out we were pregnant, and I lost my job. Several weeks after that, we lost our first baby together. It was kind of a devastating time in our lives. Without our faith in Jesus, I'm not really sure we could have made it. It was then that I first asked my husband if we could be foster parents. We had an empty room, and I couldn't bear to see it stay that way. It would be four years (and another baby) later before he would actually consider my desire to be a foster parent (God's calling on our lives).

On November 13, 2010, my husband and I attended the Wait No More conference sponsored by Focus on the Family. I think we were both dreading it a little. I had this strange idea that it would be a much smaller church than it was. I envisioned us being two of the very few there, sitting towards the back, and hoping no one would call on us or expect anything from us. This was not at all the case! Over 900 people showed up!!! We still sat towards the back, but it was nothing like I thought it would be. It was a large auditorium, and they had several guest speakers giving us insight on what it's like for children in foster care, parents who decide to foster and eventually adopt, and even a child of a family that decided to foster. It was eye-opening, to say the least. I kept looking at my husband to see if it was getting to him like it was me, and I can honestly say, I watched his heart break for these kids. My husband, the police officer who, more often than not, sees these kids in a worse light. The ones who are trying to run away from their foster families, or who have committed a crime. The ones that age out of the system because of the "bad" reputation kids in foster care get . God moved some serious mountains that day!

Immediately following the conference, we "found" our agency! We were very excited to start the process (actually, I was a little bit scared that he might change his mind if we didn't act FAST!), and I think our expectations were a little too high. A week went by and we hadn't heard a thing from the agency or any feedback from the conference after submitting our request for more information. I started calling the agency, hoping to get some info, and never could get a person to answer (apparently I was calling the wrong number :) ). I finally got the right number, and a week later received the disappointing news that the agency we had chosen didn't serve our area. We were hoping to have a little more info to give our families when we made our announcement on Thanksgiving day. No such luck! Later that week we found our agency (thanks to a friend who's daughter is adopting through foster-care), and it was a week or so later that we finally had paperwork in hand.

The process is as much as we thought it would be and then some. We've only barely begun, and we know it will probably be at least February before we're even close to having a child placed with us, but we are daily praying for our son (age 5-10)!  :) Please pray for us, as well as him while we are waiting. We don't know what he's going through, or what he will go through (emotionally) after being placed in foster-care if he's not already, but God knows.  

Jeremiah 29:11 (New Living Translation)

¹¹ For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.


<3 Amanda