update

life is BUSY these days! especially with school back in session. i have recently gotten aggravated with other bloggers whose blogs i read (at least) weekly that haven't been posting. then i realized, i NEVER post! i guess i don't feel like i have a lot to say (oh yes, i love to talk), especially since i'm confused/concerned about what i should and shouldn't write about our new family.

i will say things are hard right now. the honeymoon phase is over. i remember telling another foster mommy friend that "if this is the honeymoon phase, how much worse will it get?" maybe i shouldn't speak anymore. i think i wish things on myself. ahhh. he really is a good kid. he's a good kid with a big heart who has suffered a lot of loss and hurt. he just hasn't quite figured out how to get his anger/aggressions out in a way that doesn't get him into trouble of some kind. he doesn't trust adults because the investigator who handled his case lied and told him he wouldn't tell anyone else if he would just give him details. sooooo, when you don't trust adults and kids make fun of you for being different or sensitive, who do you turn to? god, yes, but tell that to a pre-teen who has been disappointed and let down by adult after adult his whole life. tell that to the child who has lost not their first, but SECOND set of parents. yes, you read that right. tell that to a child who lives in a home with strangers who have weird rules, and has siblings spread all over because they are not stable enough to live together. he believes in god and he believes in the teachings of his word. but tell me he feels it when he has no faith or trust in the rest of the world. how do you tell him that everyone in this world will let you down at some point or another?

we have had it rough the last couple weeks. the "doctor" seems to think we're miracle workers over here and took him off all his meds. less than two weeks later, meds out of his system, and we have a very broken and destructive child on our hands. PTL we're back on them and all is right in MY world for right now. his? not so much. he had a sibling visit recently with a few of his brothers (not all are able to make it to each visit), and two of them had written him a letter basically telling him to have a good life and "don't forget us!" ha. how did that get past the CPS worker?

counselling sessions are going from bi-weekly to weekly due to the recent "issues" we've been having. he's been having. i think this is good for him, but not so much for the rest of us. kind of ties us to the house every saturday early afternoon. with counselling, all night homework, and a weekly structured activity (karate), bi-weekly home visits from our case manager, and monthly sibling visits that take him out of school for an entire day, it's a very foster child-centered home at the moment. that is exactly what we were hoping to avoid when we entered the system as foster parents. if i could change the system, i would. i know all of these things are in place to help the child, but it certainly doesn't leave much room to just be a family. to be a normal kid.

this weekend i have an angel baby in my house! she is beyond adorable, and i might not let her mommy have her back! :) we're providing respite care for our friends who are also foster parents, and we have one of their five foster kiddos. she is sweet as can be, and the girls (alyssa and campbell) are in love. alyssa told me tonight after little miss fell asleep that she doesn't want to give her back lol. too bad she has two handsome brothers that would miss her too much, not to mention her mama and daddy! anyway, just wanted to update those who still read....better get this posted before the battery goes!