i can't imagine that anyone in this country under the age of maybe six has forgotten where they were ten years ago. i don't remember all the details, but i was at work with my friends. we went to the break room to watch the coverage on CNN. i went through the motions the rest of the day, wondering what was next. was this it? was this the end? i've been told my WHOLE life that Jesus is coming back.....i just couldn't imagine that something like this would happen to our blessed country, and the world wasn't coming to an end. i felt like the chicken who cried "the sky is falling! the sky is falling!" i felt panicked. i knew i wasn't living the way i should, and i was suddenly concerned with where i would spend eternity. i think a lot of people questioned that. (i heard on the radio yesterday that church attendance in NY has increased something like 16% since the 9-11 attacks.) i went home with a very little Alyssa, and sat and watched the news for the. rest. of. the. day. i remember my brother and his friend sitting next to us arguing if they would be drafted into the military. my brother was very happy to reveal that he was the only boy. the only boy left in our family to carry on our last name. (side note: he has three daughters, and who's to say but him and my sister-in-law, but i think they're done! :) ) i was so proud of the way our president stepped up, took charge, and was such a calming voice in the midst of so many emotions. i know a lot of people have a lot to say about president bush, and not all of it good, but my heart goes out to him. i think he did a wonderful job as president. he wasn't perfect. he did some things i didn't necessarily agree with, but how do you make an entire country happy? you can't. enough about politics. i just appreciate his honesty, his dignity, and his convictions. i'm proud to call him "neighbor." (i only WISH i lived in preston hollow.)
onto happier things that happen on 9-11, HAPPY BIRTHDAY ADRIENNE!!! my vbffl (very best friend for life....in case you don't have a pre-teen girl) is celebrating her birthday with her adorable family in japan. <3 you!!
UPDATE on us....things with Tucker are turning into our new "normal." he is pretty good, very neat and clean. he does most tasks fairly quickly and does what he's asked to do. i am waiting to see if this is our "honeymoon" phase. if it is, i don't know how much more "new normal" i can take. it's very hard having a stranger in your home that doesn't seem to want to connect. i read in a blog this week that it takes as many years with you as the child was without you to attach. make sense? so that means by the time he's 24 we should be where we're supposed to be?? ha. he struggles in some areas of school, so as the days become shorter, and the nights longer, we find ourselves staying in more. homework that is done in less than an hour for the other two seems to consume the rest of his evening. then it's dinner, study for this or that test, shower and bed. sounds fun, huh? i recently posted on facebook that i can pretty much quote the entire first chapter of my kids' social studies book. i wasn't kidding. i read every section so that i could find the answers and explain to him how i found the answers. my other kids are getting less and less of our attention as we focus on making it to the next test. i don't know if he's testing us, or just likes the individual attention. i can tell you that he was AMAZING this weekend when it was just him and Campbell. the other two big kids went to stay the night with friends, so Eddie and i took Tucker and Campbell to eat and shop. wasn't exactly a thrilling evening, but he very much enjoyed the somewhat undivided attention. i am dreading our next visit with our case worker. Tucker has pretty much decided we are trying to add to his already destroyed childhood by making him a slave to his flash cards (math and science). yes, he actually said this. yes, we know we're right to encourage him to study. HOWEVER, i can only imagine how this will translate when he has his one-on-one time wiht his case worker and tells her what WONDERFUL people we are. :)
a couple things to pray for if you still peek in here from time to time (i am THAT slacker blogger. sorry!): 1. that we find a Christian therapist for Tucker that he truly likes and that can help him heal (monthly therapy is a requirement). 2. that he finds the "fun" in school and makes amazing friends like Trey and Alyssa have (i truly LOVE their friends), and takes his school work seriously. 3. that we have patience with a broken child who is also hitting puberty while transitioning into a new, big family. 4. that God's will be done. i have a lot of things on my mind and my heart, and my husband and i are not on the same page. this is not necessarily a bad thing, it's just not "right now!" i can't exactly go into it, but if you know me, you may have an idea.
thank you if you're still reading and checking in on us. i am still trying to decide what i should and shouldn't write on here. i know i won't be able to give specifics of each and every meltdown/bad behavior/naughty words said, but i want to be able to blog openly and honestly, so that you can really get a feel for what being a foster parent is like. i can say this, regardless of how easy or hard the days are, i would do this again because i know God has called us to care for the orphan and the widow. this is not exactly the experience i dreamed about. i reallllllllly wanted to be involved with the bio parents. in this case, there are no parental visits, so i can't have that angels singing, glory moment where the bio mom/dad/parents get their lives straightened out and the angelic child i have been helping raise has now gone back to live happily ever after with his birth family. maybe God knew i wouldn't be as good at that part of it as i'd like to think i'd be. :) either way, it ain't happenin'!
